TEDS. DID THE
EXIST AT R.L.S.?
The proto-Ted of 1953 was to be seen in Romford (stealing the
shady limelight of the 'spiv' style which was well on
the way out) and - in a preliminary version- at RLS (intakes of 1947 & 48).
I do not think they were dangerous or heavy, just in revolt against the adult
world, clothes and haircuts being the outward sign. It was the DA - i.e.
'duck's arse' that became the Ted cut, while the daring stylist went for a Tony
Curtis cut. (anyone want to own up?) All the rest of
us had nice partings, I reckon.
Around 1953, two boys in the fourth form who hung around Romford in
Edwardian-type jackets and creepers - self-proclaimed 'yobs' - were told to run
the 100 yds. in practice
training for Sports Day. They refused flatly and, when pressed hard, answered
back at the master in charge with rude words. He forced them to run on pain of
being sent to the head. They eventually did run it, but both put on an absurd
show of idiotic struggling effort & reached the finishing line exactly
together arm in arm roaring with laughter. It was brave, I thought. They were
sent to Newth and got expelled on the spot. I forget
their names... perhaps best forgotten? (RP)
I enquired of all and sundry (from the appropriate intakes)
about the vexed question of "The Teds".
I have been consistently amazed that NO-ONE else on The List has memories of
these characters - but then, until recently, I was the sole representative of
1955 and September, 1955 seems to have been the Teds'
heyday.
When Mike M subscribed and I realised that he was 5th form in 1955/6 I was
hopeful of confirmation, but no! Michael has equally consistently denied the
existence of such characters and I was ALMOST beginning to believe I had
dreamed the whole thing.
Thank heaven for the
The first three names mentioned - every time - "Del Monte, McGregor"
and...
...yep! "Merry"!!!!!
And this from no less a reliable source than my patrol leader
in the 1st Squirrels Heath Scout troop (1954 intake) who proved his memory by
greeting me with "You went to
In fairness I have to say that the Mike Merry of today - hearty, genial,
amusing, large as (if not larger than) life and excellent company is a long way
removed from those fearsome Teds! (DGM)
Gentlemen: I had a strange feeling that this would come back
and haunt me! George Delmonte and Michael McGregor
were friends of mine at RLS. I suppose they were a bit Teddyish
in their dress but when you see someone almost every day for five years or so
you tend to be blind to what they wear. I did have a pair of shoes with thick
soles and my trousers were 16 inch. I did have cutaway collars and I tied my
tie as thin as possible.
I suppose as loutish fifteen year olds, which we certainly were, a bit of outlandish
dress was intimidating to an 11 year old first attending the school. Talking
with David about this did bring back a few memories but I cannot for the life
of me remember us bullying any younger boys, we had far too many important
things to do besides that. I had it fed to me twice weekly at Ilford Boxing
Club that you didn't need to go to the Palais to get
into a punch up, there was plenty of action at the
club on Tuesdays and Thursdays and also at the inter-club competitions held
monthly. I can remember a trainer making Billy Walker look like a small child,
berating him for an incident he had been involved in and having him promise to
steer clear of this type of problem in the future. I only hit a younger boy once, this was Dave Seymour in the '55 boxing finals. Pretty
soon I was just too busy to live the Ted's life of dance halls and record
shops. I was getting ready to go to
David, I never did wear fluorescent socks! Also, despite DGM's gleeful allegations, I was really not a fully paid up member of the Ted's. 11 year olds tend to imagine and exagerate things. One look at the picture of myself with McGregor and Delmonte in the files can confirm that! We appear like young choirboys in that picture (taken at the Schoolboys Exhibition in London, 1954 I think) As far as the addresses etc. of old boys Merv Wright has a pretty good list of 51 entry blokes and has been in contact with over fifty of them for the 2001 meet. I'll ask him for his addresses and get them to Andy. Glad you're back David. (Mike Merry)
The difference between the Third form and the Fifth form is great as DGM so rightly puts it. I will post pictures of myself at 14/15/16 just to show how neatly I dressed in those days. As for being a choirboy no, I wasn't but I was an altar boy in our local catholic church until I finally started to challenge some of the more exotic of the Catholic Church's claims. I then became an atheist because Atheism is a non-prophet organization. (Mike Merry )
My search for suitable pictures of me when I was 14, 15 and 16 (not all at the same time mind you) is almost complete. No Ted clothes in evidence. I will put them up on Sunday when I get back from my couple of days up at the beach. (Mike Merry )
Scapegoat Maltby Accused As Accomplice Boswell Aids Flour Bombing Teds! What a cunning ploy to divert suspicion from himself by pretending only the vaguest of recollections! Shame on you Brian! (DGM)
Paper Ted
I never was a "Teddy Boy", I was quiet and rather coy,
Curtis blazer, tie and cap, when it rained, a dark blue mac,
Every day I rode the train, to Gidea Park and back
again,
Typical schoolboy, typical dress, typical of the RLS.
Sports and drama were a smash but maths and algebra, trash,
The end of term reports, for me were thirty first of thirty three.
Swimming skills I did not lack, grey pants shiny from "the whack".
Boxing done with Daddy Scho',
champion three years in a row.
I didn't have thick soled crepe shoes, adore rock and roll and blues,
No curly sideburns down the side, my trousers eighteen inches wide.
My jackets had no vevet collar, I didn't swear and
shout and holler.
From my head no quiff did rise,
instead just a short back and sides.
I didn't dance at Ilford Palais or urinate in
darkened alley,
Bill Haley didn't "turn me on" First sign of trouble I was gone.
Fags and pies and cups of tea, didn’t do a thing for me.
A normal fifties lad was I, fresh of face and clear of eye.
First day of Autumn term we'd see, the new boys acting timidly,
We'd give them lots of nasty looks, open satchels, pinch their books,
Send them to the prefects room, watch their faces fill with gloom.
Make them join the queue for buns and buy for you and all your chums.
Was I perhaps a "wannabe", was that the "Ted" you
claimed to see?
Was it my friends that "walked the walk", wore the clothes and
"talked the talk"
It's hard to be a right hell razer, in school tie and
a Curtis blazer!
The final words that must be said, "I never was a bloody Ted" (Mike Merry)
Today I have forwarded to Andy the absolute definitive proof about not being a Ted. A search of my archives revealed three prints in which a) short hair can be observed, b) conservative clothes worn (including an RLS OL's tie 1958) and c) No little boys being tortured in the pictures. As Reggie Knox said "common sense shall prevail" It certainly has in this case. (MJM)
MJM wrote: "I am attaching three photos from 56 57 and
58. This will torpedo DGM's theory once and for all
about Teds. The 56 picture is from a dinner and dance
at a Hotel at Marble Arch. The 57 pic is from the
No Ted gear. I honestly cannot remember anyone actually wearing draped coats or
velvet collars although tighter trousers were not unusual. As for hair, George Delmonte always had fairly long hair but it had a parting
and could hardly be termed Ted. Scotty McGregor usually had a crew cut, not
much to comb. Anyway, please advise how much humble pie is needed?" (Andy
Lee)
I'm looking forward to seeing your evidence of omissions ... but recent evidence (e.g. regarding 'Teds') has been rather thin, hasn't it?. No no! I am absolutely unanimous that Teds were indeed extant at RLS in September '55. This has been substantiated to MY satisfaction (at least!) by the words of one Roger Ellis (mentioned recently by David S who will, I am sure vouch for his integrity - suffice it here to say that the man was onetime patrol leader of the Peewit patrol, 1st Squirrel's Heath Scout Troop! That and an Old Libertian! How can he be doubted!) (David Silverside)
The one that comes to mind is that sung by bolder factions
of the 1955 intake, early in the Autumn term of '55, -
"Teddy Boy's Picnic". This piece of reckless provocation stemmed from
the habit of the Teds always wanting to congregate at
that part of the west wall where the staircase stood proud of the classroom
wall - right in the way of the best place in the school for playing
"Rebound Football".
Needless to say there was nothing the Teds liked
better than to foul up a piece of innocent first-year enjoyment and they could
be guaranteed to hoof our ball as far as possible as often as possible. (Until
the day the shortest one - he who wore electric blue drapes and drainpipes with
the black velvet collar and pocket flaps - swung an uncoordinated leg at the tennis
ball, fell flat on his arse in a welter of Brylcreem
and had the grace to blush at the hoots of derision from first years and fellow
Teds alike!). Football nor, I think, many other
remotely athletic pursuits, was NOT the forte of the RLS Teds
of '55. This in part accounted for the ever-increasing volume of cheek and
badinage which was pointed in their direction as we grew older and bolder. Once
we discovered that they couldn't run (tight trousers and beetle-crushers!) and
would give up any chase, coughing and wheezing, after no more than 20 yards we
became ever more daring in our verbal assaults. Also, there was one of our number in 1A who had a brother in the 5th year (I forget the
name of both of them!) and this enabled us an insight into the qualities and
shortcomings of various of the Ted fraternity and hangers on!
I must be honest and admit that Mike is probably closer than he thinks with
"> What probably happened is that after I left RLS my fame lingered...
and David probably heard about me and came down with a case of hero worship. A
couple of flaws in the theory - it wasn't after you left, it was while you were
there! In discussions of Ted-Taunting it was generally agreed that, if you
valued a whole skin, you "didn't mess with Merry"! The boxing
exploits were related to us and it was generally acknowledged that Merry COULD
run! In fact I believe the Ted's answer to our tactics was to set MJM as the
catcher then he would deliver up the unfortunate quarry to the less mobile Teds for systematic torture. Secondly, it wasn't hero worship, it was respect bordering on terror! The same way
one avoided contact with Daddy Scho's
"Persuader"! and should serve to silence my
tormentor for ever and ever. No! Not a snowball's chance!
I have other lines of investigation to follow and though The List (and its
Moderator!) seems peculiarly reluctant to accept MY word on this (when have I
EVER lied or exaggerated?!!) I shall unearth evidence which is completely
incontrovertible! Actually I left the school at the end of the summer term in
1956. I don't recall returning for the first day of the Autumn
term to annoy young 1st termers. Come on! Pay
attention at the back! We're talking (we always have been!) Autumn 1955! You
don't wriggle out THAT easily! No, that photo brought it all back! I'd remember
THAT face anywhere ...the eyes, gentlemen, look at the eyes. (DGM)
First Formers:
Each day around five, I come alive when the sun sinks over the hill,
And it feels so grand, with a bottle at hand, ready for an instant re-fill.
I just sit there, relaxed in my chair, and think back over the years,
About the old school and that cheeky fool who we had to pin back by the ears.
When in the forth form, `twas completely the norm, to
stand and watch from the wall,
On the first day of term, watch first formers squirm, as we kicked around with
a ball.
They were terribly green, and could often be seen, searching for inspiration or
omen,
Their innocence faces, their satchels and cases, Norman, Dane, Saxon or Roman?
Without a care, we'd D.A. our hair, and sneer at the boys in short trousers,
And Heaven help the ill-advised whelp, who may have said something to rouse us.
For a forth form yob could launch a gob about twenty feet, straight as a razor,
And woe betide, who did not step aside, as it locked on a new Curtis blazer.
This September day, as Old Bob chewed his hay, that Bert Peade
had left in his stall,
A snotty nose lad, his eyes looking sad, came up to the Ted's at the wall.
"Good Morning" he said, and nodded his head "How do I get into
the school?"
As we stood there, God answered our prayer. Thank him for sending this fool!
Forty five years ago, I remember him so, socks falling down as he ran,
I remember his name, but wont repeat same, don't want to embarrass the man!
Ah! It's such a long time, I don't think he'll mind, so with a short stroke of
the pen,
I'll give you a clue, it's the least I can do "His initials are DGM".
"Of course we can help" we answered the whelp, "Come round the
side and keep quiet"
And like Little Jack Horner, we went round the corner and soon after started
the riot!
"Through that window there, then straight up the stair, this is not for
the fainthearted"
We lifted him high, with a hand on each thigh, and through the window he
started.
Alas, as you can tell, all was not well, someone was
due for the whack!
And as he climbed round, the window came down, and held him across the back.
He screamed and he cried and to get out he tried, but the window was holding
him tight,
And we called the whole school, to see this poor fool, struggling with all his
might.
The shouts and the noise of six hundred boys, a deed of which pranksters dream
Without ringing the bell, the silence it fell, as Mr. Peade came on the scene.
"Whose that bugger up there" He started to
swear, two legs in short pants were a'kicking,
"For this you will pay, on your very first day, Mr. Newth
will give you a licking!
The poor little beast was finally released, his face red and shiny with tears,
I'll always remember that day in September, no matter how many years!
On his first day in school, he'd broken a rule, Old Bert and Scruff made him
pay!
But what of the blokes that started the hoax? They innocently shuffled away.
The years they do fly, forty five have gone by, and little boys grow up to be
men,
But they'll always remember that day in September, and the first day of DGM.
There's a moral to see, quite naturally, concerning any first former,
When being led, by a huge hulking Ted, don't ever go round the corner.
(Mike Merry)
DGM said: "David, I've been telling the list for MONTHS
about these Teds - to general disbelief and MJM's mendacious denials! Do me the favour of posting YOUR
recollections of them... ...while I oversee the distribution of substantial
portions of Humble Pie!"
Just when I thought DGM had given up on this "Ted's" subject, like
the
Yes, folks, Scotty MacGregor was the leader of the "push" (a little Australianism there for "Gang") who were regarded with genuine terror by the small defenceless innocents in the years behind (and I suspect with bored tolerance by the years ahead). They also actively attempted to recruit gullible youngsters like Phil Kingham, whose claim to fame was that his Mum (Ivy Kingham, still pushing a sewing machine around to this day) was able to reduce a pair of trouser bottoms from 22 inches to 12 inches in the twinkling of a needle! It occurs to me that the Senior Lieutenant of said MacGregor had initials starting with MJM and finishing in disgrace! (DGM)
Teddy Boys: Yup. The years 55-59 did have the Teddy Boys. In fact in one of Ernie Pillings’ classes we had a long discussion on their virtues, dress styles and whether there were any at RLS. Many people considered them to be an aggressive bunch of persons but in reality it was a dress code not unlike the baggy crotch at knee style of pants (trousers) today. The dress was a black suit with velvet collar narrow tapered pants tight at the cuff. Big thick soled crepe shoes. Heavily Brylcreemed hair combed to DA (Ducks Arse) at the back. They walked in large groups with a leader and lots of sheep trying to copy the leader and laugh on command. Generally they were not dangerous except at weekend when the beer got the better of them. I dont think there were any visible Teddies at Rls but there were possibly those who changed clothing after school hours, particularly those a year or two ahead of me. That was the same era as the Beatnicks who dressed sloppily while challenging the establishment. As for myself I avoided both groups and took Ballroom dance lessons. Barry newman was also a ballroom dancer Cheers. (Brian Coan)
May I Moderate on the 'Teddy Boy' question? Two members (Davids M and G) contend that there were Teddy Boys at School. Two members (Mike M and Brian C) contend that there were not. Shall we call it an Honourable Draw? (Andy)
Andy's suggestion probably comes at the right time. This "tickler" has run it's course and after a dull summer, new members and intersting posts are the order of the day. Let's have a go at something else now. I'm interested in hearing more about Hartley's administration. We have many details of GHRN and of JPC but not much about Gussie and the Head's that came after Coles. Perhaps some of the newer members can provide this information. (Mike Merry)
The Mailed Fist in the Velvet Glove insists: "Shall we call it an Honourable Draw?" Certainly! Cheers, Honest David (DGM)
"The Rest of the Story"
Gentlemen: Wicked DGM! I've strived to keep the truth hidden but even my good
nature can't keep it from coming to light. Here then is really what happened.
Now you will learn "The rest of the story"
The events of 1953 as related by Brother Michael
There were fairies at the bottom's of our Guardsmen,
Teddy boys with long and greasy hair,
Lord Montague went camping with the Boy Scouts,
While poor Derek Bentley dangled in the air.
Ilford Palais was the Teddy's
Romford market was where they bought their clothes,
They gathered at the cafe near Gallows corner,
But at RLS we didn't have none of those.
Some wore the royal blue blazer,
The cross and crown embroidered on the chest,
Others made do with a sports coat,
The Curtiss blazer always was the best.
George Delmonte played the harp in the orchestra,
MacGregor sung tenor in the choir,
Kingham (though a lower former),
Was soprano `cos his voice was so much higher.
Mick Coles was Jakie Melnick’s
helper,
`kept the blackboard clean and stocked with chalk,
Moalie Morris aspired to be a veterinarian,
He'd take Old Bob around for his daily walk.
What a happy crew we were in 3F,
Dedicated completely to our school,
We didn't need no drainpipe trousers,
Stringently obeying every rule.
Oh! How we loved to do our algebra homework,
Help Dan Reekie clean the test tubes in the 'labs,
Stand up in Taffy's class and render Hamlet,
Not a Teddy Boy among the lads.
What a lot of fun it was on Prize Day,
As one by one we climbed up to the stage,
And Scruff would present us with a bible,
With our name inscribed upon the first blank page.
Running, jumping, pulling, on Sports Day we would strive,
To win the cups, and shields and silver plates,
And those few of us who had no athletic ability,
Would stand and collect the tickets at the gates.
We did everything we could to help the juniors,
Showing them the way to do things right,
How to touch their caps to all the masters,
And never seek to run from us in fright.
We'd show them how to sing nicely in Assembly,
At end of term for staff, We'd give a cheer,
Explain you might meet "Pip" if you went into The Ship
And that the Squirrels Head was far the best for beer!
We always gave the very best example,
Cap's and ties we wore each day,
But slowly the lower forms, strayed from all the norms,
I still can't fathom why they went astray?
It happen in the Autumn term of my last year there,
The revolt we feared came walking on parade,
Gregory, Maltby, and the Lee's, with jackets to the
knees,
And fourteen inch drainpipes round their suedes.
Brylcream (more than Dennis Compton),
On Tony Curtiss styled long black hair,
Myself, Delmonte and MacGregor
looked on in wonder,
We blinked our eyes and just stood still to stare.
The three of us were very disappointed,
All our years of trying went down the drain,
We knew, despite our strife, this was the "Teddy" life,
And that things at RLS would never be the same!
MacGregor gave up hope to joint the clergy,
Delmonte never would a teacher be,
I knew this horrible shock, meant that I couldn't be a doc.,
So I ran away to live across the sea.
Clad in my robes and cowl I walk to matins,
Open sandals, no brothel creeper shoes,
I didn't become a hunk, I became a Benedictine Monk,
And I've risen to chief taster of the booze!
(Mike Merry)
I knew it was only a matter of biding my time, giving him
enough rope, etc and, in an unguarded moment of rashness, Mike would finally
utter the damning admission... Mike Merry quoted: "What a strange trio. JA
was the sportsman, actor and scholar. McGregor was a Ted ..." Aha! May I
repeat that..."McGregor was a Ted ..." ...and once more, just for the
joy of savouring the sweet taste of victory... ..."McGregor was a Ted
..."
The very words of the one and only Michael James Merry! He
who is on record, countless times over, denying the very existence of such a
phenomenon in the first weeks of the 1955 intake. Oh the cock will crow
at least three times tonight!!!! (David Maltby)