GIRLS, DANCES & SEX
Does anyone remember the School Dance that took place circa
1971? It was held in the School Hall and
featured a band called "Listen" who later went on to win the Melody
Maker "Best New Band" competition (hmm, Hornchurch Grammer got Roxy, we got Listen -
whatever happened to them after that?). The support act on the night was one of
the home grown RLS groups (their name escapes me now but I remember Dave Ham
playing bass). In my recollection this was the last school dance that was allowed
to be held on the premises, certainly for at least a few years after my time at
the Lib. Is there a story as to why ?????
When the clock had ticked on a few more years and the mantle
of leadership in these issues fell to my fellow 67'ers (HM Andy Ellis and
colleagues)
permission to use the hall was refused so new ground had to
be broken......we decamped to Tiffany's at Ilford for our Xmas do of 1973 and again
for our leaving bash the following summer, both "do's" being
immensely successful sell-outs and highly popular with the local totty. (Steve Hyde)
On girls and "dancing lessons: My dance training... such as it was… was achieved at a ropey dance school next to Hornchurch Bus Garage... where a guy called Ron and his wife Dorothy, bellowed instructions through megaphones. all the chaps were one end of the room and the girls at the other... and the whole thing had as much romance as military manoeuvres on Salisbury Plain... or slightly less. Occasionally Ron and Dot would have disagreements which were communicated loudly and publicly over the megaphones... sometimes using words I had not encountered before... but have become familiar with since. Equipped with my new-found technique... especially in the Quick-Step... I ventured onto dance floors at university with a bared-teeth smile to conceal the intense concentration required to avoid kicking my partner to death. (Colin Calvert)
Toilets. There was some speculation that the female office staff used GHRN's toilet... and that is probably correct. My father was a headmaster... and his office suite included a private toilet. He had a member of staff who had to put eye-drops onto the back of his eyeballs! ...and so he had permission to use this toilet for this operation, which involved popping out his eyes (one at a time!). Apparently it is quite easy with practice... although I'd rather not personally. My father had a visitor who had to use the toilet one day... and went out... followed by a loud scream and a crashing noise. Yes... you guessed it.. he went into the toilet to find this other guy with his eyeball hanging out... and passed out cold... had to go to Hospital with ahead injury! …not his lucky day really!.(Colin Calvert)
I vaguely remember Bill Groves to whom I am indebted for
identifying the hero who ejected the yob from the dance in the school hall. I
particularly remember that occasion for two reasons. One is the amazing manner
in which Jeff so surgically removed the troublesome idiot. The other is because
of the ridicule I suffered in the following few days. A pal of mine at the
school at that time had acquired a girlfriend whom he wished to take to the
dance. She, I was advised, would only attend if her own friend could come along
too. My mate begged me to accept the girl's friend as a blind date. His
girlfriend was an absolute stunner; and in hopeful anticipation of spending an
evening with someone who might be only half as beautiful, I readily agreed.
With a Ronson lighter in my right hand jacket pocket,
a packet of Senior Service in my left hand pocket and a ten bob note, courtesy
of my dad, in my wallet, I strode into the school hall in my Cuban heeled
Winkle Pickers and fifteen-inch trousers ready to make a 'kill'. Shortly after,
my chum walked in. On one arm he escorted a vision of loveliness; on the other,
he bore a female about four feet tall, whose face was covered in acne and who
wore her hair in two plaits down the sides of her face. I think she was wearing
sandals. Ever the Gentleman, I spent the evening dancing with this antithesis
of beauty. In the days that followed, my sanity and taste in females was
questioned by just about everyone who had attended the Ball; plus their
friends. (Richard Stokes)
Jiving at the Gym: During the period 1956-57 the new Jiving craze was sweeping RLS. During the lunch period students would meet at the changing rooms at the Gym and form dance couples. One student in the fifth form provided a record player and staked the change rooms, while the rest of us had to dance in the doorway. My partner was Stan Charach. We were a charming couple. I believe a Mr. Coles, the assistant to Mr. Schofield encouraged Gym use during the lunch period. But some teachers must have found it strange that boys were dancing together and stopped this innocent fun. Were any of you part of this craze. (Brian Coan)
Tony Wells and I were both into ballroom dancing. (Barbara
and I still take lessons to advance our skills) He and I would dance at the
rear of the assembly hall during the lunch hour. Normally we did not have an
audience. He could dance both parts and would teach me new steps he had learned
at the Victor Sylvester dance classes held close to where he lived. I danced on
Friday nights at St. Edward's Club in the Wykeham
Hall in the marketplace with some very nice young women, club members. Later on
when I was somewhat older my parents allowed me to go to the Palais on
Dredging the bottom of my mind for school memories, I come
up with the subject of bird-spotting. No really, I was in the RLS Bird-watching
society & we won a Highly commended for falsified logbooks on observations
of bird`s nesting habits. But my chief bird-watching
was with a fellow Latin-sufferer called Ray Bradbrooke.
We sat on a bank behind the railings facing
…dances at the
And following the fashion you have started for public apologies, may I, on behalf of my "partner in crime" (either John Groom or Mick Corbett - I forget which!" and I, publicly apologise for putting you through what was undoubtedly a very embarrassing, not to say fearsome, experience! It wasn't drainpipes - it was up their flagpole! Which, if you remember, was atop the main building - no mean feat! (DGM)
Re: Apology to Daisy Bill, ... to
apologise to Miss Bubbers: I don't remember ever
being aware that you had to do this. On reflection, it is monstrous that you
had to be shang-hai'd to this duty.
What evidence did the powers-that-be have that an RLS student was responsible?
There were certainly no confessions at the time, not even any circumstantial
evidence. This outrageous travesty of justice was perpetrated on mere
suspicion! What way is this to inculcate a sense of fair play and confidence in
the British system of legal justice? Did the Romford County High Head Girl have
to present herself to George to make her apologies when the Royal Liberty was
similarly daubed on March 31st/April 1st of 1955/6, I wonder? (Between the two
dates April Fools' Day fell in the Easter holidays!). Did you manage to keep a
straight face, Bill? And did you get to see any of the literary offerings? (I
think the term "graffiti" is a bit harsh!) The only one I can
remember was "Milking Parlour" on the glass of the double fire doors
out of the hall. (DGM)
(Re 'Did you manage to keep a
straight face, Bill?'): Just! The whole affair was bizarre. George sent for me
on the Monday morning and said that Miss Bubbers had
been on the phone to complain that some of our boys had defaced the
He was my habitual partner-in-crime for most of the japes
that went on about that time. It was definitely John for the organ stunt and
for the "6th Form Flour Show", though in that one, we were aided and
abetted by Mick Corbett who threw the master blackout switch at the appointed
hour. I wouldn't want to blacken his character completely on this one though as
I'm not 100% certain. It MIGHT even have been a friend who wasn't even at the
"Dances at RCH" and what they meant to us in those days. Davids story about apologising to Daisy Bubbers was excellent. I had to do the same thing back in 1955 when in the fourth form. I recall I was the only forth former involved and the rest were all fifths. We did nothing as wicked as David's lark but Scruff did make myself, Mick Marston and two others go down to RCH during lunch to apologise for whatever it was we did. I also recall, as did David, Scruff seemed not at all put out by what we did, which makes me believe he harbored no love for Daisy. Semper Procedens! (Mike Merry)
I note some mention of RLS lads polluting the RCH for Gals' establishment. This possibly refers to a merry jape… in which I admit some involvement.. one April Fools Day.. probably 1953.. in which at crack of dawn....or a bit after, we invaded the said premises and dispensed a mixture of potassium permanganate and detergent into the rather boring formal fountain.... thus enlivening it at a stroke. The enhancement of the purple foam which blew about was apparently not appreciated by Madame Bubbers.( what a wonderful name that is!...what mammary splendours flit before the eyes.. ) …who apparently sent a stern rebuke to GHRN… who duly cautioned the school. I don’t think anyone was actually caught. This was actually the first and last occasion I entered the hallowed female portals... thereby probably warping my life experience for some years. (Colin Calvert)
I never actually took a girl with me to one of these events, there were usually quite a few knocking around without escorts and these were fair game. I usually managed to leave with one who had similar urges as I. At one of these dances I came across a young lady with a magnificent chest. We danced and talked and eventually I charmed her into taking a walk down towards the Geography room behind the stage. There we were, under the stairs in the faint light. I looked into her eyes before investigating the inviting frontal structure and she said "You're looking at my moustache ain’t you? Well I'm having it removed by electrolysis and you shouldn't be so rude!" I'm afraid that did it. I hadn't even noticed her moustache actually, being so absorbed in the other features she displayed. It was quite a nice moustache actually but didn’t detract at all from the bay windows. My apologies were to no avail, the budding romance was over and I went back to the dance and finished up in the Squirrels Head later. Life's cruel sometimes! (Mike Merry)
I'm sure you were there, although on reflection she may
not have gone to
Mike Do you mean he hasn't told you the story about the party hosted by a young lady from Heath Park Girls and the situation which occurred between the host, 2 of RLS's finest and the problem of them only having one condom each? (Richard Hall)
(Leatt remembers who it was) ...one of Daisy's Darlings at the RCH. We met at one of the French summer schools, which will strike a chord with MJM. I was lighting the end of school disco, and managed an invite to a party she was giving. Her parents had gone out for the evening, leaving her in charge.
Amongst the guests was Jeremy, a lad from a public school, who had it appeared, never experienced life, and several RLS blokes, and a quantity of some tobacco additive or other that seemed to required some preparation before being rolled into a very long cigarette, which needed to be handed around, for some reason.
The party progressed, another RLS member had brought some home brew with an octane rating about double that of aviation spirit, and more cigarettes were being rolled. By now, somebody had fallen from the top of the stairs, crashing into the antique grandfather clock in the hall below, dislodging several pieces of wood.
Shortly after, one of the RLS mob collapsed in a heap, and turned a funny colour. All attempts to revive him failed, and we were panicking. Jeremy was shouting 'I'm calling the police' and making for the phone. Those not directly involved in the resuscitation attempt were trying to hold him down, but he was quite a slippery character, and nearly escaped by squeezing through the bannisters.
At this point, the front door opened, and there stood her parents - the first time any of us had ever seen them. Mother surveyed the clock, the corpse, and the body now wedged in the bannisters and boomed 'WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?' Silence fell, and we all sobered up very quickly. Only Jeremy spoke. 'He's been smoking marijuaaaana, and I'm going to call the police!'
And Mother's reaction? 'Oh not you're not! This is P***** party, and no-one is going to spoil it. You - get out of my bannisters and go home. NOW' Several others also took the opportunity to join him. She then brought our dead body back to life, and made a cup of coffee for everyone brave, or foolish enough to have stayed behind.
She was one very different lady, but I would never say weird. She and her husband taught me to drive, among other things, and remained firm friends with me even after the relationship with their daughter ended a couple of years later. Sadly, they both died quite early in life, but I will never forget them. As to the condom story you refer to, Richard, I wasn't there. It was in the dying days of our relationship, and we were going our separate ways - or she was.
I think you might like to tell that one. I seem to remember the result of that evening was to place the sexuality of two of our finest Hell's Angels in doubt. Careful how you tread. One of them may be joining this group very soon. I was with someone else that night. Probably her 'best friend', whose name rhymes with 'dinner' - see previous post. (Vince Leatt)
Sports day 1969 and I had left my plimsolls in the 6B flat. Went back to get them and discovered girls there, unfortunately already with male company. Being a gent I made my excuses and left but, as luck would have it, ran into Jake on my way past his study. I don't know if he caught you himself but he certainly put 2 & 2 together and tried to put me in the frame. With my previous form (though regrettably never including such a fantastic stunt as this) he was convinced that I was involved and it was only the fact that the culprits confirmed my story that I escaped punishments. To have got the pain without the pleasure would have been too much to bear. Too many years and too much alcohol have dulled the brain but I seem to remember Keith Daultrey & Dave Mehmet (both 6B) being involved? Am I right or is it possible that there were two such incidents. (Roger Harlow)
Dave Mehmet was indeed the other culprit and it could well have been Keith with us. My faded memory (nervous as hell at the time) was three of us walking all the way from the gate by the sports building with the gals. I think we covered them in our greatcoats to get 'em in. By the time we arrived at the Hare Hall entrance (door by the coal, methinks) two other Right Hon's joined us to surround the young ladies. Jake went ape-f*ck*ng-sh*t when he caught us. But was this a coup, or what? I don't ever remember anyone else managing this. It was worth six of the finest swishes. Keith's memory may be better if he can come on-line. (Ian Macauley)
'Girls in the 6B flat'. You were right, it was Sports Day 1969, and yours truly, Dave Mehmed, Simon Ridley and Rich Burch spent the afternoon entertaining two 'St Trinians' look alikes in the comfort of the 6B flat. We had initially met the girls, from Pettis Sec Mod, via an advert in IT, which Dave used to sell. We also sold Black Dwarf! On the afternoon of Sports Day we met up over Raphael’s Park and somehow secreted the girls in - Mal Newsinger and Betty Robson were their names - with the intention of taking part in a different kind of sport, I suppose. We worked hard on the entertainment side - Dave and Si were performing wonders spinning chairs, Rich read some poetry - but the girls seemed unimpressed and sat there with their inordinately short skirts, tights with holes in, chewing gum. Somehow JP got wind of the scam and went absolutely apoplectic - we claimed that the girls had come to watch the Sports Day, but, for some reason, we were not believed. I don't remember how we got them off the premises, but great coats sound about right. I also recollect that Dave and I had to clean out High Trees as a punishment - can anyone remember the details? (Keith Daultrey)
I know I was one of the helpers from the gate up to the flat with the gals, and I think Albert Wood may have been the other guy, but he left. While you were entertaining, I'd supplied (as usual) the joss sticks, and it may have been those that blew us. I kept the final one in the packet for decades as a reminder. We played a guitar up there, too. After Jake went Apesh*t I think I was initially dragged out by 2 pr*f*cts because I'd compounded the crime by being in the 4th. Didn't he make the gals leave on their own while he gave all the rest of us hell? Only time I remember clearing High Trees was after I had to own up to hoisting a new boy up in a rubber tyre on a rope in the trees, and unfortunately left him there for the afternoon. That was a regular trick, wasn't it? (Ian Macauley)
At the deep end, I noticed a charred window frame and in the last cubicle there was a secret message carved in the wall. MM L JA (David Silverside)
I'd forgotton about those letters, although they have been bought up before. The five letters tell a story from a school dance, held I believe during the 1955 French Summer School. Sonnet to explain MM L JA:-
How, when we were young, we wished the years would quickly
pass,
And we grew tall, and joined the fifth, almost a man, at last.
Danced with pretty girls whose summer dresses put the green to shame,
Glowing quietly when in your ear, she whispers soft your name.
Glowing quietly when in your ear, she whispers soft your name.
Spin round the Hall while envious lower formers stop and stare,
Spin round the Hall while envious lower formers stop and stare,
You smile indulgently, breathing deeply the Drene
smell from her hair.
And then, while others greedily munch on buns and cake,
You two steal away, and to the bike sheds a stealthy path do take.
Hold tightly to yon solid beam and climb upon the concrete block,
Over fence, to diving board, circumventing Old Bert's
lock.
Hands entwined, to final cubicle you walk.
You pause before you enter, standing close, this cloak of darkness impeding
talk.
From splintered wall, a nail you pluck, and words you cannot say forever
etched.
Visitors will ask (but only you will know) MM L JA.
(Mike Merry)
In the '50's the sign of independence (at least at RCH) was
the wearing of shoes with high heels and stockings. Although the height of the
heels was somewhat insignificant compared to what we were to see in the '60's
and '70's, they did allow some of those young ladies to show a little
sophistication, keeping them apart from the 'plain green uniform with white
ankle socks' crowd. The M*lls sisters were advocates
of this mode of dress. They enjoyed the reputation (amongst the 4th and 5th
forms at RLS) of being extremely desirable and forward. I was fortunate enough
to be invited by both of them (naturally, at different times) to their house in
Thank you Mike for bringing back memories of the delightful Mills sisters. Especially, Maggie, the slightly older and shorter one of the two. I knew her quite well! We were in the same year and, since I am a short arse, she was also more my height! (I was going to say size but I suspect that the moderator would choose to misunderstand). Maggie was a very popular dancing partner at those extraordinary Friday night social evenings at the RCH for the fifth forms. I remember Daisy sitting on the stage surveying the scene whist we all tried to do the foxtrot, waltz and quickstep to Victor Sylvester strict tempo gramophone records. What a relief rock and roll was after that. After we had left the RLS and RCH Maggie was Graham Bond's girl friend for a year or two and, indeed, she sang from time to time with the band that he then had. (Geoff Smith)
I agree with David S. about the benefits (to me at least) of attending a single sex school. I think the onset of curiosity/anxiety, call it what you will, about girls and their great attraction to healthy males as the hormones start to flow would have been a big distraction for me. One of the chaps in my class went with a girl whose family name was Seaman (if you can imagine!).
Dancing with a bosomy girl was the closest thing to Heaven at age 14. A further distraction was the shortage of under-clothing due to wartime rationing (26 coupons per person-per-year). Nobody (I am guessing) in my age group managed to keep enough coupons for both inner and outer wear.
Dancing with a lovely young thing could create a male reaction and when someone asked - What am I supposed to do - another responded - Just hold her closer!
So my close encounters with young women were confined to Friday evening dances at St. Edward's Club and Saturday night dances at the Wykeham Hall to the music of "The Jive Bombers".
Fond memories. I always did (and still do) love the big bands. They come right behind my lifelong love of good classical music. I was never exposed to the 60's and 70's styles and find much of that stuff not to my taste. "You pays your money and takes your choice I guess".
Oh yes, the egg ration in wartime