Master Anecdotes - 1960s, part two
McWilliams, J. M. Jones, G.A. Jones, Hughes, Reynolds, Wiggins, Straw, Palfrey, Razzell, Madel, Critchlow, Stevenson, Mitchell, Broomhall, Browning, Brewer, Rule, Holman, Hammond, Norman, Brophy, Beal, Hoy, Washington,

John B. F. McWILLIAMS (1964-1973)
Subject: Geography?
Nickname 'Maori Mac' , ‘McBill’

'Maori Mac' Macwilliams....would you believe he came from n.z., taught economics and was typical of somebody from the other side of the world, was a fervent supporter of what was then called 'the common market' {only 6 countries then }(Graham Alexander Lee)

John Hawkins wrote: "Wasn't Y*h** a Jonathan Swift word to describe pupils of other Romford schools?" Quite possibly, but I think our distinguished Geography teacher, JBF McBill used it as a pejorative term for us RLS lads as well, among other colourful expressions. (Tim Knights)

McWilliams arrived in 1965, I believe. I think we were taking his first sixth form course at the RLS, for he prescribed a new text written by a friend (?Hanson). It was not printed during our year, and we worked from his copy of the galley proofs (before the book is broken up into pages!). He was noted for confused observations. Talking about elasticity of demand, or something similar, he claimed that "there are many uses for plastic, e.g.making galvanised buckets"! (John Hawkins) Now living in NZ (?)

One former member of staff does live here: John McWilliams. He came to the school long after I left it. When I first met him in Wellington ten years ago we had no idea of our common association with the school. I just happened to mention in passing that I had lived in Romford. We were both astounded to learn that he had taught, and I had (kind of) studied at the RLS. He now lives in retirement on the Kapiti Coast about 50 miles north of Wellington. He's a very pleasant, friendly man. He didn't emigrate to New Zealand, being a native Kiwi. (Tom Little)

I was delighted to hear about John McWilliams - good friend and colleague. I believe he joined the staff in 1962. (Bill Broderick)

Talk of not teaching a syllabus would be more appropriate with regard to Mr McWilliams {than A. Guy}, the genial Kiwi who took us for our first year Economics A level in 1974. When he left, Colin Brennan took over and I remember him asking in our first lesson if we'd done this bit, that bit etc. and the outcome was that we had to do two years work in one! (Martin Stilwell)

I can't recall whether it was just at Christmas or if it was each end of term but the Kiwi Geography teacher who I think was called McWilliams encouraged us to play Battleships so he didn't have to bother to teach us. (Richard Hall)

I remember said gentleman (God knows what his name was) and his battleships games. We called him the bald eagle 'cos a) he was hirsutely challenged and b) we though he was Canadian! He frequently finished sentences with "around the room", e.g. "Pass these books out, around the room." He knew his subject but wasn't too good with class control, nice bloke, regardless. (Chris Broadbridge)

JBF McWilliams (known as McBill) Geography: I remember in a geography lesson, during a craze for lighting joss-sticks before or during lessons and seeing how long before the teacher noticed and tried to do something about it.  He remarked on the strange smell, and asked for the windows to be opened.  In his inimitable kiwi accent, and with his grasp of schoolboy mischief and idiocy (maybe he used to deliberately appear naive to defuse a situation) he assured us that the smell was paint off the radiators, and that he didn't want us to die of lead oxide poisoning. My parents once reported back from a parents evening, that JBF said, "Your son has many talents."  They took that to be positive feedback (compared to what one or two other masters might have said).  I thought it was a cryptic reference to my part in certain extraneous contributions to the entertainment in Geography lessons that sometimes ended with him sending me to stand in the corridor for a few minutes. I think I would put him firmly in the "good bloke" category of teachers, patient, caring, ready to open up discussions beyond the coursework, quite world-wise, although at the time we might not have always conveyed such respect towards him. (Tim Knights)

D. REYNOLDS (1963-1988 plus)
Subject: Religious Instruction
Nickname: 'Derek', ‘Del’, 'Bender'

RI Moved into Room One after Stan retired, bringing to an end the use of the room for Maths for 52 years!

Master in charge of cricket and vice president Christian Union. Unable to give nicknames for fear of libel case. [Vince Leatt]

Had a mini bus with the registration UMU 262 F [Ian Puxley]

I remember Derek Reynolds very well in his capacity as RE teacher during the 70's. He very much encouraged class debate and used to light up on his favourite subject 'sex education', which us boy's obviously found very interesting!! He was a very strict disciplinarian and an excellent teacher, whom I will always remember with great fondness. (Gary Webb 1974-1976)

Gary,Are you sure we are talking about the same man here ?? You may care to search the previous posts (on the Yahoo! site) for the many - somewhat less complimentary - references to Dell boy... (John Bailey 1963-70)

I never had any problems with Dell boy....but I know what you mean!! I only have positive things to say about the man, because that was my personal experience. I never got on his bad side. I am happy to report.(Gary Webb 1974-1976)

His favourite subject may have been sex education, but one wonders which particular aspect thereof. A memory of changing rooms at Balgores reas its (very)ugly head!(Steve Byrne 63-70)

Derek was a source of great interest while I was at the RLS and subject of a host of jokes which must have bordered on harassment. I think he was one of the few people I have met who was absolutely devoid of a sense of humour. [Stephen Snelgrove]

… enthusiasm for making young boys take showers after games - of course treading very carefully to avoid defamatory allegations. [AE] …drove a BMC van, known as the British Mobile Church. [IP]

Van was UMU 262F [SS] I do remember that his personal sexual predilections were the subject of some rumour and I also remember him hanging around in the changing rooms at the football ground next to Gidea Park library. In those days though I was far too innocent to comprehend the full meaning of the sniggers. [GAL]

Derek Reynolds' enthusiasm for making young boys take showers after games - of course treading very carefully to avoid defamatory allegations. (Andy Ellis)

Reynolds seemed to be the only master who had no reluctance to use the communal showers with the boys. Mention of his van brought back memories of cross country running from Rise Park into Bedfords Park. For those with no sporting ability, this was the ideal option. Cricket & football were painful for those with no skills. Janice Ian's recording "At Seventeen" always brings that back to me - "for those whose names were never called when choosing games at basketball" (substitute cricket or football). A group of 20 boys were given to 2 captains to choose their sides alternately. They eagerly claimed the first half, and reluctantly picked between the remaining bodies. Reynolds would take those without bikes in his van to Rise Park. There was a vague trail to follow, although I think boys took their own routes. It was necessary to pass the appointed teacher up in Bedfords Park to get a tick. Those on bikes would cycle near him, trot by, then back on the bike to the change rooms! On the trip back to school I got Reynolds to drop me at the bus stop for home. On one occasion the bus was approaching, so I had the van side door ajar already. As the van came to a halt I opened the door, brushing a street light. Stepping out I picked up the door handle, throwing it inside, saying "The handle's fallen off". Then I jumped onto my bus. The incident was never mentioned again. I have since thought that he probably had to get a new casting, with all the bothers of repairs. (John Hawkins)

One of my earliest memories of the RLS was of Derek (DFR)- particularly as he was my form teacher for two years. The lengths all of us would go to avoid having a shower in the pavilion, was amazing. I would often have been quicker to have just gone and had the shower but that was not the point. I don't seem to remember the showers being particularly cold in any event. The worse thing about games was when it was raining and we were forced to go on a Road Run up the A127 traffic lights at Ardleigh Green, along the a127 to Gallows Corner and then back along Upper Brentwood Road. The killer at the end was making you do a circuit of Pitches 1 & 2 before finishing at the Pavilion. To a boy, I am sure that we would all have preferred to have got muddy playing football rather than risking life and limb and breathing in god knows what from the A127! Funny enough the only time you saw the games masters on a wet day was in their cars blocking off strategic short cuts on the route. Derek could go from one extreme to another, I remember boys being allowed to hide behind curtains prior to the start of lessons and remaining there until discovered - which DFR took in good heart. Yet by the same token he was prone to "outbursts" when you least expected it. (Michael Jamieson)

Derek's predelictions were a source of near obsession while I was at the RLS. He also had a deep loathing for the CCF and metal combs. One of those dropped in an RE lesson was guaranteed to bring about near apoplexy. (Stephen Snelgrove)

It took a true star to make the period we studied for "O" level - 1919 to the present day plus the Russian Revolution - tedious, but he had the knack! We had some terribly disruptive set pieces for History lessons. Anything to break the monotony. He wasn't loath to respond with an open hand smashed round the ear though. Certainly wouldn't be allowed now. (Stephen Snelgrove)

Derek Reynolds had a similarly inspired approach to filling us with the joys of bible study. Reading a bit from the bible, accepting no discussion or dissent, and write it up for homework.(Stephen Snelgrove)

Just a few thoughts on DFR, dead or alive: Some people did get obsessive about him - he was the source of constant speculation and piss taking for about five years from what I recall. The first sniggers arose when he used to budge in alongside pupils when marking their work or helping them with it. He would often put his arm around a kid's shoulders when doing this. Charitably, one could say that it aided stability. Others thought he may have just liked doing it. He also looked ridiculous with coarse wiry hair that just got taller rather than longer. He only ever seemed to cut the back and sides. Nobody had then invented layered hair (although the first mullets probably appeared in about 1970) and Derek would not have really gone for that look. So instead he pioneered this Eraserhead look. Something he had less control about was a cleft chin more pronounced than Kirk Douglas's. Impersonators would pinch their own chin together to replicate the cleavage. Some will say that he could not help being Welsh, but I'm sure if he had tried more... or perhaps I'll leave that one alone.
He did enforce showers and he did prowl the pavilion looking for boys who for one reason or another did not relish the publicity of the communal shower. On more than one occasion I saw him hoist a struggling boy over his shoulder and carry him into the shower. He also used the same shower himself (as others have recalled) and I remember distinctly him standing under the shower if not with a full blown stormer on, at the very least an advanced "semi". For reasons I cannot then begin to fathom, some deranged and mischievous boys took it upon themselves to speculate that he may be sexually attracted to young boys. One cold winter some even wrote the word HOMO in huge letters in the snow underneath Room 5 where he then taught, overlooking the playground. Heaven forfend what Esther would have made of all that. My best recollection of crossing swords with him (verbally, I hasten to add) is at about 13 drawing him into an argument about the D'Oliveira crisis in order to divert the lesson away from its primary purpose. I asked him if he could reconcile his Christian values with his support for us ditching D'Olly as the South Africans had demanded. Stupidly and predictably he tried to. I am quite proud that I suggested that as a naturalised black (or "cape coloured") man had found his way into the England team, wouldn't it be statistically probable, given the very large number of black and brown people living in South Africa that perhaps one or two might get into their team if they were allowed to. "Nonsense" he said - which made him a bigger prick in my eyes than anything that had been winking at us in the pavilion. (Andy Ellis)

Regarding hiding behind curtains in DFR's lessons - I well remember two variations. One time - can't remember who - someone got on top of the tall cupboard just behind the door in room 12, DFR's form room. While we all say there waiting for the man's arrival, the door opened and in came Jake! Fortunately he didn't turn around in the doorway to follow the gaze upward of 30 boys in a state of some fear. All he said was something like 'Mr. Reynolds will be a little late, so please wait quietly…'
On another occasion, someone hid under DFR's desk before his arrival and had to stay there for some time after he arrived. Perhaps he even enjoyed the experience? Perhaps they both did?? (Ian Puxley)

Following on from Andy Ellis' recollections, DFR was known, for various reasons relating to his presence in the showers, as 'Bender'. In his more passionate moments, when his teaching was subsumed by his lay-preaching, he would revert to a strong welsh accent. He was also fanatical about cricket, but was never allowed near the first eleven so had to coach the under-12s. He would harden us up by bowling in the nets at full speed and conducting fielding practice by standing us in a circle and the hitting the ball at us as hard as he could. This behaviour seemed slightly at odds with his avowed Christian beliefs, as indeed was his punishment of miscreants when he lost his temper. (to this day I flinch when catching a cricket ball) I also remember being taken to cricket matches and Ilford cricket school in his BMC van. A feature of this vehicle was that the engine was under the seats and so there was no bonnet. DFR took great delight, when parking, in roaring up to brick walls and braking suddenly, stopping with the windscreen about 1" from the brickwork. Still, he had to clean the upholstery! I believe he got married and had four children. I think he left the school shortly after it went comprehensive. (Colin Newlyn)

We locked an alarm clock in a desk in DFR's room once, timed to go off halfway through the lesson. Results as anticipated. He broke the blade of his penknife trying to force the lock. (Stephen Snelgrove)

Reynolds was the only teacher whose sole subject was RI during my time at the School. Most of them taught this in addition to their subject, just as they also looked after games periods. I recall our class moving from the Gym to a Reynolds RI lesson in room 9. We met a stray dog in the playground, and our Christian compassion drove us to treat it as our own, encouraging it into the School and up to room 9. It seemed to settle contentedly at the back of the room with one boy. Reynolds arrived, settled in & started the lesson. He looked up in sudden amazement to see the dog trotting towards him between the boys' desks. He immediately blew his top, shouting "Get that animal out of here!" We called upon his Christian values, all creatures great & small, etc. However, he immediately quoted some obscure bible paragraph to the effect of expelling all dogs. That man certainly knew his subject. (John Hawkins)

I think that the comments on 'Derek' Reynolds were a fair summary of the reputation of the man.  I remember him chasing a boy (John Hunt) from the pavilion into High Trees and dragging him back for his shower. (Chris Fribbins)

Yup, sounds like Del Boy alright.  I am trying to remember the name of the master who said to me (of Derek) "How can any one man be so stupid ?" but I'm afraid it's gone for the moment. (John Bailey)

Least Favourite :- D.F. Reynolds, RE - although much has been said about 'Derrick' while putting fore-finger on the chin and using thumb and middle finger to form a 'bum chin'.  His RE lessons seemed to be nothing more than writing out long essays on stories from the bible.  He probably did more to turn me off religion than almost anything else. To which I can only possibly add - amen !!!!! (Chris Fribbins)

Seconded! (John Bailey)

Least Favourite Teacher = D.F. Reynolds, RE - although much has been said about 'Derrick' while putting fore-finger on the chin and using thumb and middle finger to form a 'bum chin'.  His RE lessons seemed to be nothing more than writing out long essays on stories from the bible.  He probably did more to turn me off religion than almost anything else. (Chris Fribbins)

To which I can only possibly add - amen !!!!! (John Bailey)

I have to admit that as I have grown older, I have become more and more annoyed about how former pupils still go after Derek Reynolds in the street after all these years. (Ben Levy)

Sorry, but I can't let this one pass without comment! Ben, you only knew Derek when he was knocking on a bit, whereas some of us had to suffer him when he was still young and fit, and we haven't forgotten it.  I may be 50 years old now (sob!) but believe me, if  Dell was unfortunate enough to encounter me in the street he would get a real earful at the very least. As would Franklin, for that matter.

As an example of the man's behaviour, how about this? I once got even more bored than usual during one of Dell's lectures, and began idly doodling in my "rough book. "Unfortunately for me, my doodles included one or two rude words, which Dell spotted as he cruised past my desk. After losing his rag in front of the class, he then told me to go and see Coles at the end of the day.  No attempt to sort it out or punish me himself, just sent me straight to Jake - even allowing for his well-known hatred of any boy over the age of about 12, this was way over the top. This was the ONLY time in seven years that I got into any bother at all during a lesson… Anyway that's end of rant for tonight.  Sorry again, but that man really was a hateful character. (John Bailey)

I have to admit I can't argue with what John Bailey wrote about Senor Reynolds. (Ben Levy)

Biggest laugh was having RE on a Thursday when half the class was in CCF gear, He _didn't_ like that! Indeed he didn't.  He had a real down on Doc Marten's boots - well known as "bovver boots" in the halcyon days of the early '70s - as well. And steel combs.  Dropping one in a lesson brought about near apoplexy. Strange thing though, I never realised at the time that he was Welsh. Even now, as practically a naturalised Cardiffian, I don't have any memory of it being an issue.  Strange really, we didn't need much encouragement at the time to pick up on any deviation from the Essex norm. (Chris Broadbridge)

I well remember (3P? maybe 4P) in about 1970 locking an alarm clock in a desk, timed to go off during one of Del’s lessons. Nick Shacklady was in the offending desk, and was accused by Del of being the instigator. Funnily enough, the key couldn't be found. Numerous other disruptions were planned (and occurred) during the lesson - I seem to remember you paying us a visit to advise that Paul Weaver and Alan Guest needed to see Jake, a process that was repeated until under half the class remained, with the other 15 in the toilets. The whole lesson was a shambles. We tape recorded the whole thing, but I don't know who kept the tape. Now if that could be found....more valuable than the Zapruder tape and the Watergate tapes put together! Also, he had a peculiar habit of making sure all boys showered after football.....  (Cliff Lambeth)

Talking of strange men, Mr Reynolds was on the staff while I was at RLS, joining probably in 1963 or 1964.  I organised the school Christian Union (or whatever it was called) for him while I was in the 5th form (i.e. 1964/5), but even I thought he was one of the arguments for atheism ever! (Geoffrey Biggs)

... amongst the many lunatics attending the asylum was one chap who not only attempted to drop a desk on Derek Reynolds from a room 9 window (and was thwarted at the moment of critical balance) but also lobbed a javelin into the results tent on one sports day! I believe it was the same person but the name escapes me! (Steve Hyde)

If I may be allowed to paraphrase something Steve East posted a while ago - had this person succeeded in dropping a desk on Derek, he would have earned the gratitude of generations of boys past, present and future!! (John Bailey) LOVAT does anyone remember Mr Lovat (no relation - different spelling) who taught biology. Failure to obtain a certain mark in a test resulted in having to copy out the first chapter of Genesis! I was guilty there too! (Phil Lovett)

I have to admit that as I have grown older, I have become more and more annoyed about how former pupils still go after Derek Reynolds in the street after all these years. (School after all is different to real life I hope!) However, this is a prime example of how some people make a rod for their own backs. Even though it was the late 1980's Del's class still had the old lift up lid wooden desks. One guy by the name of Scott Barrett found that it was incredibly easy to dismantle the desks with a cleverly placed kick here and there. One lesson, as Del's was preaching the word, there was a massive thud as Barrett's desk collapsed. Del threw him straight out of the class and proceeded to stick the desk back together. What with, I hear you ask? A reel of regular sellotape. He fixed it to one corner and wrapped it around the desk about five or six times. Then he called Barrett back in. He sat down and started to unwind the tape again. Del threw him out again. (Ben Levy)

Assisted in piling all the furniture in Dell's room upside-down in the choir gallery AND owning up (6 more) (Ian Macauley)

R.J. WIGGINS (pre-1966-1970)
Subject: Woodwork
Nicknames – (‘Rob’, ‘Halitosis’)

here is a name to conjure with...... i can contribute very little to his profile as he joined the school after me but who can forget making model tug boats, toast racks and magazine holders ? who can forget the woodwork room when metal work was entirely the province of the 'secondary modern' and the idea of boys learning domestic science was as alien as a woman becoming Prime Minister !! {never in my lifetime!!} who can forget the name of Mr.'Halitosis' Wiggins (G.A. Lee)

Re Wiggins: I remember the toast racks and magazine holders, but with 'Tiddles' Tydeman. I can still smell the wood glue - we always believed it to be made of boiled horse bones. (Andy Lee)

The sadistic but otherwise bone idle woodwork teacher (sic) Wiggins who once cheered us all up by asking us to ponder the statistic that by the time we were 25 , 2 of us (out of a class of 28 then 13 year olds) would probably be dead (he was right as well) (Andy Ellis)

... just about remember him. Remember toasting sandwiches in front of an electric fire in the woodwork room. (Ian Puxley)

Wiggins was my woodwork teacher for one year in which we learnt how to make toast but never actually made a toast rack. He was followed by Jack Straw who was really off the wall but made the lessons entertaining and treated you like an adult. The same of which could be said of Brian (Dicky) Groome - you knew where you stood with him, he wouldn't stand for any nonsense but treated you fairly - he was also a very good geography teacher, albeit one prone to interject the adjective "sensible" in any conversation or lecture. (Michael Jamieson)

Amazing how different people remember others in different ways. Several members, particularly Bill I think, remember both him and 'Frankenstein' Franklin in glowing terms. Different perspective (a little art joke in deference to Roy Franklin) I guess between pupil and staff memories. For Wiggins do a search in the archives. I suggest you use 'Halitosis' as a key word!! (Graham Alexander Lee)

Woodwork in my era was the province of a sadist by the name of Wiggins, who took great delight in clumping us around the head with our mis-shaped offerings. Since mine were more misshaped than most I also took more clumpings, although not on the occasion I feared it most. T'was 1969, a Friday afternoon and Ann Jones was playing Billie Jean King in the final at Wimbledon. Tony Guest, if memory serves me correct, brought in a radio and we kept bobbing down behind the rear-most bench to listen to commentary. I was crouched down listening intently when a voice asked me what was the score. In the fashion of Richard Attenborough (I think it was him) in the Great Escape I replied without thinking, only for the final syllables to freeze on my lips as I realised it was Wiggins doing the asking.
Awaiting the seemingly inevitable clip round the head I was shocked when he said "Well turn the radio up so we can all hear". He didn't redeem himself for four years of sadism, but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless. Eventually he must have realised I, and several others, were lost causes where woodwork was concerned and there was a group of five - myself, Jeff Randall, Steve Jones, I think, and two others I can't remember - who were allowed to spend almost the entire final term polishing our glockenspiels (insert your own Frankie Howerd line here).
To pass away the time we, unbeknown to us, invented the forerunner of Trivial Pursuit by splitting into two teams of two and one quiz master, each of us taking it in turn to provide the questions. If only we had had the foresight of the Canadian fire-fighters who invented TP I would be e-mailing this from somewhere a tad more exotic than Leeds ... (Chris Stratford)

As Richard Hall said of Wiggins: He seemed to have an inferiority complex as he was the only teacher without a degree. This was very apparent to all and sundry whenever the Blue Book was published as his was the only name amongst the Teaching Staff without letters of accreditation. However, this did not last long in the eyes of the masses. As Chris Stratford suggested, Wiggins did have a sadistic streak which often came to the fore (both he and LLR Franklin had an extremely similar approach to "discipline" that was invariably demonstrated on the less gifted individuals in their respective classes).
Wiggins numerous hostilities to many of my 1st form group of 11/12 year olds led to the bestowing of various "honorary qualifications" and the annotation of his entry in the Blue Book. I recall that one such award Wiggins was given by my class was: "Clearly Unapproachable - Never Talk !" . The abbreviation spoke for itself.
Wiggins once had to stand in as a substitute French Teacher for Frank Rule in one of our French lessons. He suggested that we best spend the time quietly reading a book. I just happened to have a publication chartering some of the least savoury exploits of a group of Hells Angels which I quietly buried my nose in. In no time it was confiscated and I was severely beaten around the ears with it. The bastard never did give it back. Wiggins was eventually succeeded as Woodwork Teacher by "Jack" Straw. (Steve Hyde)

I recall we didn't have to put up with too much nonsense (or teaching come to that) from Wiggins since he seemed to spend most of the time in his back room making illicit furniture for his house, emerging only occasionally to hurl abuse at some poor unfortunate.  We also used to think he looked like Bongo Benson's less socially skilled brother.
The first piece of work he got classes to make was the 'marble game'. Members may recall this consisted of a straight piece of wood with half a dozen or so notches cut out of it (so it looked like upside down battlements) which one was supposed to try to roll marbles through (although whether anybody ever actually did I don't know).
One's woodwork prowess was indirectly proportional to the number of battlements one managed to knock off when planing across the bottom of the piece.  One poor unfortunate in our year, Bill Spencer, was left with only a
single one, and was duly ridiculed by Wiggins who suggested he turn it upside down and pretend it was a battleship. (Chris Boivin)

That's the more amusing because the first task we were set in the first year, under the tutelage of John Tydeman, was to construct a wooden battleship!  I wonder if Wiggins inherited Tydeman's lesson plans? 
The theory was that this work of art enabled the use of all the tools we would need and all of the processes required in "proper" woodworking - horizontal and vertical paring, planing end grain etc. Trouble was that these battleships tended to float upside down! (David M)

I remember the battleship well.  Haven't got mine anymore although I do still have a mahogany table-lamp I made in c. '57 - we still use the thing and it serves as a tangible demonstration of how not to produce chamfers, etc.   But at least I managed to bore the hole through the length of the upright piece without the bit coming through the side, unlike some unfortunate would-be carpenters! There was also an egg-rack and a garden dibber - but this is beginning to get really nerdy, so I'll shut up there! (Bob Tucker)

Wiggins… ah! yes the garden dibber. Wasn't this an example of that old chestnut the mortice and tenon? I seem to remember that we thought of it in a different way when those RCH girls were on the 246. Ref Scofield, does anyone remember that sadistic, slit-eyed little b*st*rd called Cole who was there in 57/58 before Pete Benson? He actually smiled when he hit you with that size 13 plimsoll (as we used to call them) - Happy days. (Derek Humphrey)

I've still got my football rattle with "Snelgrove 1R" still clearly visible. That was my total woodworking output for  - how many years did we do it for? It was generally quite acceptable at the beginning of the lesson to take a bit of wood out of the scrap bin, spend the double lesson worrying at it with glasspaper "NOT SANDPAPER, BOY, GLASSPAPER....", returning it to the scrap bin at lesson's end.  Wiggins was always busy making something impressive out the back.  I had always thought he took commissions from staff, but who knows? (Steve Snelgrove)

Although I gave up woodwork just before Wiggins arrived, I remember him fairly well. He was indeed not the most popular of masters, although I never had any direct experience of being taught by him.  I am surprised though that you are all too polite to remember the primary reason for his unpopularity, i.e. his industrial-strength halitosis!
This was the reason Pete Benson was never quite forgiven for deserting the Navy Section of the CCF (to lead the RAF section !) and introducing Wiggins as his replacement, thus affording Navy Section cadets the opportunity of regular one-to-ones with the aforementioned miasma. (John Bailey)

I well remember dodging missiles during Mr Wiggins reign, but although hit once or twice, he didn't injure me as much as Jack Straw did. (Neil Miller)

One last story. I recall Wiggins was not a NAS but a NUT. That is a member of the National Union of Teachers, whereas other colleagues were National Association of Schoolmasters. There were times which NUT went on strike for some reason or another… probably pay and conditions and everyone always hoped that it happened on a woodwork class day as it was free time and away from purgatory. Wiggins always seemed to be the only teacher to withhold his labour — I always wondered why I was useless at carpentry, etc. I still have the wonderful teapot stand we spent a year making in the first form. It hasn't improved with age and will never appear on Antiques Roadshow. (Tony Guest)

My favourite Wiggins memory was when Bill Spencer had been pissing around for an entire lesson. Wiggins told him he was going to beat him, and told Bill to go and find a suitable piece of wood. We all waited with baited breath as Bill spent five minutes searching, only to return to Wiggins with the words "I can't find any wood, Sir".
Bearing in mind we were in the Woodwork Room at the time this was either a terrible indictment of the lack of facilities, or sheer desperation on Bill's part. I suspect the latter. He got clobbered anyway. (Cliff Lambeth)

Andy - as suggested, I've just had a butcher’s at Dick Stokes' pictures of Woodwork artefacts in the RLS site Library.   Gratifying to see that his table-lamp is inferior to my own - chamfers very indistinct if not absent altogether!   It also appears that his lamp is not in use which seems rather sad. (Bob Tucker)

Al Golding wrote :- “Some of the funniest things happen in real life anyway.  Who remembers Bob Wiggins tripping over in Snowdonia (CCF Arduous Training around 1967 while carrying the brimming Elsan full of RLS cadet offerings? “  Naturally, his 'trip' ended in him requiring several full-body baths in the warming fast-flowing waters of the nearby stream - only marginally above freezing  point. Messy, but funny. Ah, so that was why he was so smelly !   And there was me thinking it was the halitosis that was the cause of the problem...... (John Bailey)

Loathe or dislike Wiggins - I have to admit that the woodwork project to build musical instruments was an inspired choice (mine was a glockenspiel).  I have been searching ever afterwards for a copy of the book that had the plans for these instruments (generally known as Orff instruments, after the composer and educator). I still own and play a bowed psaltery (that I bought, unfortunately). (Pete Isaac)

D. PALFREY (1966-1986)
Schoolkeeper
Nickname 'Doug'

In my early years, I found DP to be rather like the Bert Peade described many times before, but then would you really expect a caretaker (sorry, schoolkeeper) to allow boys small, or large, to climb through windows and violate the coke heap?
After a few years, when I started to stay after school in the computer department until Doug threw me out, I found him to be extremely pleasant, and a totally different character to the one I thought I knew. Sorry to disappoint you, but being one of the chosen few did not influence him one iota. All you had to do was be polite, and bung him the occasional Players No. 6 when he had run out. (Vince Leatt)

A. G. RAZELL (1960s)
Subject: Mathematics
Nickname –

Tim Knights wrote ... "Steve Williams a 65 non-member was at one of the July reunions in the 90s and it just happened that one of his kids was being taught by AGR.  He was about to retire (Andy Lee)

...to have AG Razzell as form teacher for 2nd year. His wonderful warm but quietly firm style settled me in - reflected in my academic results. He could achieve more with a look than the rest with slippers, rulers & canes. (Ian Macauley)

"Ed writes: "This is an excellent report. He has worked hard and has always been a cheerful and helpful member of the form. A.G. Razell [do we know him? - Ed.] Form Master."

Mr Razell was Maths teacher when the 66 intake arrived at the Liberty. First lesson was as scary as hell as he berated us for what seemed a lifetime for not standing up when he entered the room. Needless to say we didn't need to be told a second time and always stood on his arrival.
His bark was far worse than his bite, it quickly transpired, and he is one of the teachers I look back at with most affection, along with such as Messrs Slade, Tett, Davies, Hammond (apologies to any I have omitted here).
He was an excellent teacher and might gently mock your efforts in front of the class but without a hint of an attempt to humiliate. His manner encouraged you (well, me in particular) to raise your hand to query something you had not grasped first time and his method of explaining was first class.
I always felt I let him down that I only got a C (GCE structure then was A, C and E passes, F and H failures) in Maths when taken a year early, but there were mitigating circs. Anyone else remember standing outside the gym on that dreadful Monday in 1970 waiting to go in for the exam, the day after England's hold on the World Cup had been loosened in Mexico by West Germany? I could scarcely see the paper let alone write the answers. (Chris Stratford)

T.T. BROOMHALL (1966)
Subject: Latin
Nickname –

Mr. Broomhall joined the staff in 1965 (or 1966 at the very latest). He shared my Latin 'A' level teaching with John Morley, and at one time was trying (with no success whatsoever) to date the lady minister of the Congregational Church in Harold Hill, where I was the pianist, and with which my Dad was associated as the minister of the "mother" church in Western Road.  He was a very strange man.(Geoffrey Biggs)

Frank RULE (1966-1970)
Subject: French
Nickname 'Frank'

From a school report: "He never really appeared to rouse himself fully from his slumbers.  I trust that his revision was more urgent than much of his class-work.  F. Rule [same question - Ed.] Form Master. Frank Rule taught French. I seem to recall that he was a gentleman of fairly small stature and yet played rugby for Upminster. (Simon Lowman)

H. HOLMAN (1969ish-197?)
Subject: Mathematics
Nickname 'Harry'

…a stalwart of he Christian Union, who lived just opposite the school in Upper Brentwood Road. A nice guy, but he did suffer the inevitable fate by association with Derek Reynolds! [SS]

Entered the Ministry I believe [BB]

R. F. HAMMOND (1968-1971)
Subject: Chemistry
Nickname 'Rog'

My memory of music lessons is that they were as uninspiring as JP's haircuts and sadly not as short. This lack of dynamism manifested itself in many lessons, Art has already been mentioned and I would like to add chemistry to the list as this was something I'd always had an enduring interest in and yet once again the Liberty cleansed it from my soul with the droning monologues from Mr H H H H Hammond. I well remember Ashley Howe leading a rebellion during a two period session with the effect that we did practical for the second half, although Ash's punishment for exercising his right to free speech was to be excluded from this, thanks to the eloquent Mr Hammonds petulance. (Stephen Southgate)

Rog H - H - H - Hammond was the main reason for my grade E in A Level Chemistry, as he managed to make the subject of Organic Chemistry even more dry and boring than it already was. (John Bailey)

Strangely enough, I always blamed my 'O' pass at 'A' level on boring inorganic chemistry with boring Jet Morgan! I found organic chemistry with Rog Hammond to be far more interesting. (Martin Jacobson)

Trevor D. NORMAN (1967-68)
Subject: History
Nickname –

...apparently he was my form master at one time and i haven't a clue who or what he was. (Graham Lee)

K.T. BROPHY (1968)
Subject: English
Nickname –

English teacher and form tutor - my first year - 1968. Left soon afterwards. Irish. (Jody Chatterjee)

BEAL (1969ish?)
Subject: History
Nickname –

Mr. Beal briefly taught history at RLS. Known as 'Um Be-al-e' (I've tried to record this phonetically) owing to his previous teaching experience in South Africa, he wore khaki shorts to school. Kindly read out the examinations questions prior to the 'big day' if I remember rightly! (Simon Lowman)

C. H. HOY (1966-1968)
Subject: Mathematics
Nickname 'Charlie'

In the "nice bloke" category as far as I am concerned.  Reddish curly hair, not sure if Charlie was his real name or adopted by us.   Maths at the time was by far my "best" subject.  I do remember that his lessons were worthwhile and he made efforts to make the subject interesting and look beyond the syllabus when time allowed.  This included trying to solve weird and wonderful puzzles from a maths journal, that at the bottom of every page of every edition printed a stream of numbers allegedly taking pi to its ultimate decimal point. I see there has been quite bit of debate in the archives about who was who in the maths department of that era, and no doubt a few cases of mistaken identity.  I haven't spotted any mention of Charlie so far.  (Tim Knights)

Les D. WASHINGTON (1966-1978)
Subject: Mathematics
Nickname 'Gino' or ‘Geno’

'Defies Midnight Runners recorded 'Geno (sic), #1 chart hit in May 1980. ...my theory that Mr. Washington was nicknamed after 'G... W... and The Ram Jam Band'. (Andy Lee)

Writing first computer program (under Gino Washington's tutelage) to estimate the constant used to calculate the distance between succeeding fret positions on a guitar neck. Miffed when the answer was 'right' for the first couple of decimal places but 'wrong' thereafter. Days of checking what was a comparatively simple calculation.  Big disillusionment - mutterings from Gino that it must be a precision problem.  Even bigger disillusionment several months later when someone with lots of letters after their name published in a guitar magazine the fact that the traditional constant was wrong (and the RLS answer was right). Missed out on that one, and a career with Gibson etc.  If anyone's interested - the traditional constant is still used as it is supposed to take into account not only the change in the length of the string when it is pushed against a fret, but has a fudge factor to deal with the slight change in string tension. I leave it as an exercise to the reader to derive the correct equations (and, indeed, whether the traditional factor is 'right' - personally I think it isn't). (Pete Isaac)

Memorable to me only because in one particularly fraught moment, his response either to someone's act of indiscipline (not me), or maybe a silly answer to a question (not me), was to use the expression, "You great steaming nit!"  That is the only time (other than in Goon Shows) I have ever heard that expression uttered by an adult.  Note to archivist. May I respectfully suggest that the V Sage in section 13 is probably meant to be VF Slade, recently mentioned in connection with school shows? (Tim Knights)

Another of his sayings has come to mind, maybe he only used it once, "Have you taken complete leave of your senses?" spoken through

clenched teeth.  Goodness knows what incident caused this but I can remember him saying it. (Tim Knights)

Geno....our beloved Maths Teacher circa in my fifth form circa 76/77 (he must have retired shortly after that surely!) He of the explosive red face as he tried to hold his temper in check....poor old chap suffered terribly with us. I remember one playmate (Dick Knott, I believe), who managed to secure a very large and very wet piece of paper to the ceiling just above Geno's desk. It did not stay up their long!!!...landed right onto his shoulder...very wet and messy. He did not say a word, just went very purple, picked up his words and stormed out. (Steve Edwards)

UNIDENTIFIED MASTER (1960ish)

The German assistant (can anyone recall his name? reddish hair, Swiss national, I believe, with a tendency to talk about sex quite a bit, heterosexual fortunately) bought himself a black London cab.  He would usually convey us to the caf at Balgores for a dog roll, coffee and jukebox, altho' I don't remember very much German being talked.  Occasionally we would also visit a caf on the Southend Arterial Road.  I am not sure that Popeye or Roy Armes would have approved had they known. (Malcolm Paul)