Master Anecdotes
Bell
Subject: Geography
Nickname 'Dinger'
Dinger
...was a friend of my cousin, Tony (Nobby) Clark
who had attended the RLS before the war and was my main reason for going there.
Nobby has been good at everything, first eleven football and
cricket etc. and he and Dinger played football for the Old Libertians’ 1st eleven. Dinger lived round the back of high
trees, that sanctuary adjoining the school, and often caught me out of bounds
there when he returned from lunch. [MM]
There are only two announcements
that stick in my memory. The first when we were all called into the Hall and GHRN
announced that King George VI had died. I think we all felt a sort of sense of
history at the time. At the other end of the spectrum, GHRN said that Mr. (Dinger)
This is the same Dinger Bell who got hit on the trouser pocket containing some
Swan Vestas matches and rushed off the field with a
cloud of smoke behind him.... I never saw anyone move so fast with pads on. (Colin
Calvert)
For some reason or the other, about half a dozen boys from 3F were
kept behind for an hour after school. Thoroughly
The next morning after assembly I was told that Scruff wanted to see everyone
who had been in detention the evening before. We went to his study and were told
to enter. He was there with Dinger who was looking very sad. In that inimitable
side-of-the-mouth delivery Scruff said that Mr. Bell was very upset that yesterday
evening someone had torn down his football notices from the board leaving them
all over the floor. We had been kept behind and therefore it was probable that
one of us had done the deed. Dinger then said his piece which was delivered with
tears in his eyes. Scruff took over gain and said that unless the person would
own up everyone would be detained for an hour every evening for a week. No one
had seen me do the deed so I thought "screw it". We all filed out of
Scruff's study and stood around talking. "The hell with it" I thought,
turned and knocked on Scruffs door while everyone stared. I was told to enter.
Scruff broke off his conversation with Dinger. "Well Merry?" "Sir,
I tore down Mr. Bell's notices yesterday evening".
Silence.
Then
from Dinger "You Merry?" "Yes Sir, me" "But Merry, YOU?"
At that point Scruff intervened. "Very well Mr. Bell"
Dinger looked
at him, got the message and walked out.
Scruff said "You Merry?"
in a very unbelieving voice. "Are you sure it was you?" Looking very
sceptical. "Yes Sir, it was me" "Bend over that chair"
I bent over and studied the familiar pattern of the padded chair, it hadn't changed
since my last visit. Four whacks.
But Scruff didn't have his heart in it.
They were about the lightest whacks I had ever experienced. The cane didn't whip
around my hip and the pain was minimal. Scruff was being humane. He honestly didn't
believe I'd done it. Neither did Dinger. I was usually punished for much nastier
things than tearing down papers. Spitting on the pupils at the
I wasn't even told to apologise to Dinger. I left
the study and the group was still outside, Dinger amongst them. Of course the
question was "Did you really do it?". No one had seen me and like Scruff
and Dinger, they didn't really believe me. We dispersed and later laughed over
the matter. Dinger carried on being Dinger. He didn't teach me after 3F, the
I never confirmed that I did the
deed and most people thought I was innocent. But I always knew I'd done it and
that day I learned that you can turn a disaster into a propaganda victory if you
play your cards right! (Mike Merry)
J Alan mentioned an event where "Dinger"
He could usually keep it under wraps, the Monday morning
after a play for instance when his blackboard was sure to be decorated in chalk
with some choice renderings of the female (and male) forms or something similar.
This wouldn't upset him at all and although everyone in that first class would
wait for him to raise and swing that huge double blackboard upwards, thus revealing
the nice filth below, he would never oblige. I don't know how he managed to clean
it up but I don't ever remember seeing what had been written there revealed by
his hand.
On other occasions he would run crying to Scruff complaining that
someone had done to upset him. It wasn't usually a face to face type problem where
someone had been disrespectful, it was always associated with something he was
doing, like his notices, football equipment or some like. Then he would get all
watery. He was quite a good soccer player though and not a bad bloke at all. Just
suffered from that one weakness that we little boys knew and exploited. (Mike
Merry)
Room 23: It was always Dinger Bell's Geography room for those of us in the early 50's. Used as a dressing room for any stage event including dramatics, boxing etc. and equipped with a magnificent double blackboard that could be raised and lowered. (Mike Merry)
Just think that MJM remembered that Dinger's room had, and I quote, "a magnificent double blackboard". As if totally forgotten by me... then I could actually 'see' it as two large boards, one behind the other suspended on sashes and pulleys with counterweights (like standard Victorian 'guillotine' windows), with two chromium 'handles' at the bottom, one on each side, for pulling each board down. Does this match your recollection, Mike? And did the board have a greenish tinge? (Robert Priddy)
"Dinger" Bell was a strange cove. I don't think anyone has mentioned
the fact that he used to suddenly open his eyes wide in a rather manic fashion.
He also used to walk on the balls of his feet, leaning forward. He knew very
little about cricket. He once went on a course in cricket coaching and came
back to tell us that every batsman should stand with
his feet three feet apart. I don't know where he got that daft idea from,
though I believe that Len Hutton was mentioned as a model, but when I tried
to argue that it depended on how tall the batsman was, he refused to listen.
Luckily no-one took any notice; otherwise they would have been immobilized
at the crease.(Geoffrey Moring)
Caretaker-groundsman
Nicknames: 'Bert', 'All
Pead over the floor', 'Bertius Pedius'
[Boiler Room] I think he retired before 1965 - I have my reasons!!!!!!! - [DGM]
"Coke. It's 'arder to light than coal but burns longer an' 'otter. Easier to carry 'em sack an' all." - Bert Peade 1952. (Mike Merry)
Lived in the attic up the curving stairs past the Head’s study. A long suffering man who knew (almost) every trick you could pull in the school. Putting paper between the striking arm of the bell and the bell itself to delay the end of lunch hour, was one favorite past-time. Searching for late comers climbing through windows in the mornings etc. In 1954 myself and a few others found a way into the loft over the stables (where Old Bob) the school horse, resided. Bob pulled the roller for the Cricket pitches and performed various other tasks. His loft was excellent for hiding out and having a smoke but Burt Pease's mate, Old Bobs keeper, eventually found it and George Newth got some exercise with the bamboo. [MM]
There was a photograph around of Bert Pead in Guards uniform. I believe that he was of the right age to have served in the First World War. Shortly after the 1955 General Election, the School held a mock election. At that time there was a Liberal Ascendancy. The franchise was extended to the teaching staff but not to Bert because it was felt that he would vote Tory. The mock election was won by Brian King (Liberal) who later stood for the House of Commons in that interest. [JAS]
We were just as afraid of him as we were of the teachers. He had the biggest house around in a beautiful surrounding in High Trees. [BC]
I had forgotten that in our time Bert was not the fully-fledged Housekeeper but was rather by way of an assistant housekeeper/groundsman Bert I remember well, particularly as the bell-ringer and the shoveller of coke. [JCJ]
MM's
essay on a school tour in 1952 states that Bert Peade
lived up there! Were there any facilities, i.e running
water, etc? I would have thought not - not much of a home. Can this really be
true? In my day the caretaker occupied a new house by the new toilet block, at
the northern
In the '50's Bert and his missus lived up in the "attic" above Scruff's study. Reached by the staircase by the side of Room 1 I have yet to visit this area. I thought it was closed during the 8th July reunion and did not attempt to go up there (probably because I thought Bert's ghost would appear or something). I don't know how the arrangements were up there but I imagine he was comfortable enough. As for hot water I suspect that as emperor of the coke heap he was able to get enough for himself. It must have been very convenient to have quarters in the school itself. This area has been discussed in the past but still remains a mystery to me. (MJM)
6B rooms: MMs essay on
a school tour in 1952 states that Bert Peade lived up
there! Were there any facilities, i.e running water,
etc? I would have thought not - not much of a home. Can this really be true? In
my day the caretaker occupied a new house by the new toilet block, at the northern
[Bert Peade stories claimed to be missing from this archive still: the explanation of his prize-giving photo, his obsession with windows, getting me caned for climbing out of one! His well-documented yell of "Oi! I knows your name! I'll 'ave yer! Termorrer!" The stories of the bell japes, which all devolved on Bert. I suspect a conspiracy here! It smacks of class discrimination! The same syndrome that Alan reported - "The franchise was extended to the teaching staff but not to Bert because it was felt that he would vote Tory." (David Silverside)]
Geoffrey Styles wrote: "...quite unlike the touchy and bad-tempered Bert!" I had forgotten that in our time Bert was not the fully-fledged Housekeeper but was rather by way of an assistant housekeeper/groundsman. But in those days it must have been quite a labour-intensive business looking after the School. I struggle to remember how all the grass was cut; sometimes I think it was all done by one knackered horse (yes, Boxer) but at others think I can remember a motor mower - perhaps the latter was reserved for the cricket squares. Even now I cannot visualise what Saitch was like. Bert I remember well, particularly as the bell-ringer and the shoveller of coke. Wonder when the School changed to oil-fired heating? The pile of coke could reach enormous proportions especially during the autumn stockpiling - I expect it was quite valuable and in my later National Service days would have justified a 24-hour guard - in 1940-45 nobody thought of such things. (John C. Jennings)
I have just remembered a time when Bert Peade was part of the formal learning process at RLS. It must have been part of a chemistry lesson. We were all taken out to High Trees to witness the devastating effect of one of the school fire extinguishers on a pile of rubbish. The fire extinguisher was the type which had to be inverted and the plunger rammed against the ground. The fire was lit. We all stood back in anticipation, but the fire was slow to burn. Nevertheless, the extinguisher was activated and, in accordance with the instructions, was aimed at the base of the flames (such as they were). Bert's aim was not very good and much of the extinguishant was wasted before the fire was finally extinguished. It would have been quicker to have gone over to the fire and extinguished it with a pair of size nine's. However, it was a good way to spend part of the afternoon and, funnily enough, I still remember how to use one of those fire extinguishers. (Peter Cowling)
G. E. MOLD (1949-post-1965)
Subject: Chemistry
Nicknames 'Oscar', 'Osc'
[Room 24-25] He was there during my time at School. The Magazine for January
1964 shows him as House Master of the
I think his name really was Oscar! MANY stories to come about Osc! - [DGM]
Oscar - Chemistry teacher and one of natures obvious targets for schoolboy
humour! Generally he took the ribbing well and tended to call us "Rascals"
with the slightest trace of a speech impediment around the letter r. We used
to have to gather around the front bench for experimental demonstrations,
carrying our wooden laboratory stools with that hand-hold cut in the seat
(ideal for setting fire to your class-mates backsides with a blast from a
Bunsen burner!)
On one occasion Oscar had shown us how to manufacture hydrochloric acid and
having collected a beaker full was going to run through all the tests to prove
it. He was called into the Senior Chem Lab next door for some reason so inevitably
someone swapped his beaker of acid for one of water. When he continued we
all sat deadpan while test after test failed and it took a surprisingly long
time before the penny dropped and he said "You rascals! You've changed
it."
He drove an Austin something or other and was convinced, once, that his clutch
or differential had given up the ghost when, in fact, there were just enough
bricks under his rear axle to keep his back wheels an inch off the ground!
(D.G. Maltby)
A very nice man who taught Chemistry, I don't recall his name. He seemed out of place with our class of hooligans. He would run between the benches shouting "Stop that" to which Schofield would reply, "Yes Sir, Which way did it go?" Much laughter! (Fred Denny)
Mr.
Mold of the usually failed demonstration experiments.
His unfortunately receding chin and dithery disposition were unmercifully ridiculed
by us ingrates, even though it was rumoured that wartime shell shock had left
him a broken man. The last procedure which I remember being demonstrated in front
of the class, was to produce and collect some gas (phosphene?)at the end of a very elaborate and fragile tangle of glassware.
Before introducing a lump of phospherous at the "raw"
end of the set up, Mr. Mold emphasised the need to expel
all air from the system. He did so with a wash of coal gas. In went the lump of
phospherous and heat was applied. There was an explosion.
The front rank of boys surrounding the table fell back on the others behind. Those
of us on our backs could only laugh manically at a lump of brightly burning stuff
stuck on the ceiling. No one was hurt and over the howls of laughter there came
another loud bang. This was the noise of the chem. lab. door
slamming. And our master was on the grass of the quadrangle talking to himself.
Soon, Bert Peade and someone else came in to clean up
and we got a free period. (Robin Rogers)
Mr. Mold was still there in 1963 when I started, and I only missed Mr. Graham by a few months. By this time, "Oscar" was afflicted with extremely short sight and a general dodderiness, in addition to the attributes Robin noted above. He looked extremely elderly. I have posted before about his unfortunate accident with the hole in the floor of the Gymnasium changing room... Throughout my time at the school, the ceiling of the smaller of the two Chemistry Labs bore a large, bright green stain spattered with large black dots. Can any HM remember how it got there? We were always too timid to ask! (John Bailey)
I accidentally spilt neat hydrochloric acid over 3 fingers of my right hand in an Oscar class. The smoke was worse than the pain of sheets of skin removing themselves from my hand! (Poor Oscar, he could do nothing more than circumnavigate the Chemistry Lab absolutely distraught, calling out to all boys "Don't Panic, Don't Panic" whilst the boys washed the wounded hand and took me to the Staff Room. [DG]
Chemistry was the other subject where I failed the mock exams. I never understood the principals of the subject. It seemed to me just a matter of learning a list of formulae, & remembering which reaction bubbled, which blew up, etc. I could never succeed in subjects that depended on memory, & not on logic. Anyway, Oscar had a completely different approach to Jim Jones. He still insisted on boys turning up for chemistry classes to keep them from mischief. However, he was happy for us to sit at the back of the lab & do other work quietly. No internal exam to worry about. A much more sensible approach. (John Hawkins)
In
1945, getting back to Oscar Mold, we attended a harvest
camp in
Poor old Oscar! There must have been something about him and cars! Was he just a natural target for japes of this nature? Sometime around 1958 or 59 there was great hilarity one lunchtime when it was discovered that someone (presumably year 5 or above?) had decorated his gear lever with a condom and a couple of years later, at the end of term, we put just enough bricks under his back axle to suspend the wheels just clear of the ground and then watched, helpless with laughter as he thought he had clutch problems! Oscar once fetched a persistent wag such a crack on the side of the head that he stretched said wag out over one of the chemistry lab tables! Only the fact that his jacket pocket caught on the gas taps prevented him from sliding the entire length! THAT quietened the rest of us down for a bit - and the greenish-yellow smog which hung persistently over the back table during our chemmy lessons gradually dissipated! (DGM)
Clearly Oscar wasn't Hispanic
Chemistry lessons decidedly manic
With Gregory quite placid
With an armful of acid
And old Oscar shouting "DONT PANIC" (Phil Kingham)
One
fine day we were all getting changed for P.E., and for some reason Pete Benson
failed to appear. Instead, after some delay, Oscar appeared and explained that
Pete would not be coming, but that he would be supervising us. At this time Oscar
was very near to retirement - it may even have been his last year - and he was,
to be frank, starting to show his age somewhat. Presumably he had drawn the short
straw in the Staff Room that day and won the prize of covering 3G's PE lesson,
or just maybe someone behind the Blue Door was showing a twisted sense of humour.
Anyway, at that time the changing rooms in the gym were undergoing some repair
work and were even more dark and dingy that usual, which coupled with Oscar's
less-than-perfect eyesight has a certain slapstick potential. Moreover, there
was a hole in the floorboards which had been there for a number of weeks to make
a trap for the unwary. Of course the inevitable happened - Oscar advanced towards
the gym proper, seeing neither to the left or the right, ( and nor for that matter straight ahead ), and put his foot
straight in the hole. Over he went, face-first, straight towards those silly wooden
pigeon-holes we used to put our clothes into when we got changed. Fortunately,
the two guys standing next to me both realised what was happening and managed
to catch poor old Oscar and break his fall, so that instead of knocking himself
silly he escaped with a small cut on the bridge of his nose where his specs had
been knocked off.
Of course, Oscar was extremely shaken up. Someone had the
presence of mind to summon Dim Jim Hardy, who gave Oscar the once-over and shepherded
him away back to the safety of the staff room while we ended up playing football
in the playground (I think.) I still wonder whether Oscar's brief appearance that
day was down to unthinking acquiescence on someone's part or whether it was what
we today would call a wind-up... (John Bailey)
"Oscar" Mold was, as far as I can recall, certainly still on the staff in 1965. I have vague memories of his leaving ceremony being marred by sotto voce repetition of "Sk, sk, sk......" (as in oSCar) and Mr. Coles being justifiably enraged by this, but exactly when that was, I couldn't say. (Geoffrey Biggs)
Oscar Mold was very ill in 57-58 and had a year off but was still there in 1962. (Bill Broderick)
R. V. BRADSHAW (1950-1956)
Subject: German
Nickname -
Living in Sherringham [BB]
Sorry to hear of the passing of Ron Bradshaw, who taught us German in the second or third year as I recall. My memory is that we knew him as 'Ben' and although teachers all seemed older in those days he was probably in his late twenties or early thirties, which suggests he must have been around 90 when he died. Is there an obituary available ? (
Derek Reader
53/60)
He taught German and was my form master in 2G, 3G and 4G. He also took the choir group and had a fine voice. He was scoutmaster in 7th Romford and headed up scout camps in Germany 52; Jersey 53 and Belgium 54.He was known as 'Bosun' in the scouts.(Mike Fruin 51-55)
Roy T. LeMIN (pre-1949-1961)
Subject: Mathematics, Physics
Nickname 'Lemon'
I was taught by Lemin, a small but lively man. He was principally teaching Physics.
One anecdote I have concerned his demonstrating to us the violent reaction when sodium is placed in water [before the days of H and S]. The sodium leapt out of the glass bowl on his desk containing the water and landed plumb in the middle of his trouser flies. He responded with speed jumping around attempting to remove the sodium from his smoking flies.. He had one ruined pair of trousers but his bodily parts were unscathed.
The class, alas, found it all rather amusing (
Bernard Coe 43-51)
I believe he was our Form master in 1950/1 and also taught us Maths & Physics.
Came over as a really nice guy. Unfortunately he was absent for very long periods due to poor health.
My recollection is that we di n’t always get a replacement, and so often
wasted time in High Trees instead. (Terry Turner (50-7)
He was never a well man. It was no surprise when George announced that he had died the previous night. ( Clive Brayshaw 1954-61)
I seem to remember a teacher called Roy (?) LeMin who, it was alleged, was left in the desert with insufficient water to drink. He was found, obviously, but he lost a kidney and repatriated (not sure which order) and was never a well man. (DES 54-61)
I understand that Roy LeMin was a naval pilot who had been shot down in the North African desert. (J. Alan Smith 1951-59)
He was a small man with the infuriating habit, when explaining anything, of working through an example on the board until he had a fairly complicated expression of eight or more terms and then saying "It's all arithmetic from now on." and going on to the next topic (we only had tables and slide rules in those days - no calculators or spreadsheets). [MJC]
R. T. LeMin died on 29
or
C. H. PEZEY (1949-1961)
Subject: Mathematics
Nickname 'Sam'
[Room 12] 'Sam' was a pun on '
"
translated very nicely to "Sam Pezey, etc"
[AHL]
Mr C.H. ('Sam') Pezey was at the RLS when I started in 1951: he was my form
master in 1A. He taught Mathematics but he was also active in the Radio Society
and, I believe, he may have graduated in Physics. In the School Magazine,
dated December 1961, the Saxon House notes stated: 'It was withgreat regret
that we said goodbye to Mr Pezey last year, for his work in thefield of Athletics
was invaluable.' (J. Alan Smith)
…a little, excitable man with a moustache... maths... who had the worst time of all with our class. It was bedlam! We had a lad called Snowsill who was 6ft 8in tall… very easy-going lad… When Sam roared that he was coming to box Snowsill's ears, I can still hear his casual enquiry... " want me to come down there, sir?... or you going to stand on a chair?"... not said in a nasty way… he just wanted to know!! [CC]
Dave
Maltby mentioned his dislike of cross-country running.
Did anybody actually enjoy that event? As I recall, I / we had to cycle to
It was possible, by straggling behind the
leaders on the outbound section, to hide behind a tree and slip back into the
pack as they passed by on their return journey. This tactic made the whole exercise
much less tiring, but it had to be performed with a degree of subtlety and finesse.
Unlike the kid I remember who hid after the first couple of hundred yards and,
when he saw the runners returning in the distance, sprinted home the clear winner
but, unfortunately, as fresh as a daisy and in pristine clothing. Sam took him
all the way round on his own. (Dick Stokes)
I recall a rhyme about him "Sam Pezey, very sleezy, things he makes math very easy, but he don't" Looked a bit like a rat on a barrow. [MM]
Sam Pezey
was, in my experience, a very good maths teacher. Unlike the song about him, he
was Easy-Pezey, I reckon. That is probably why he taught
the lowest of the four maths streams in my last year... they needed the most help.
He was very basic, clear and patient too. But he could get red and shout if we
went too far - and far we did go too, for he was so patient. We took advantage.
He it was who explained the geometrical progression in connection with chain letters
and 'pyramids', so I never fell for those, knowing how few could actually benefit.
I clearly remember the incident with the tall boy who offered to come down to
Sam's level for a cuff, as described by Colin Calvert.
When I happened to
pass the mock maths exam (having studied mostly on my own with EUP 'Teach Yourself...'
books at home, because I'd always been missing the first year of math), Mr. Pezey
was very chuffed by this result and asked if I'd like to go up into the 1st stream,
with Mr. Newth. Not likely! I preferred the lax atmosphere in the bottom
class, back row. (Robert Priddy)
Sam Pezey was
my house master, and regularly collected our hard earned pennies (fag money) for
the pavilion fund. (cheap Fags RHODIAN , TURF,