THE INNER FILM OF CHANGING LIFE
In my life my understanding of everything has constantly changed my interpretation and understanding of everything, not leastof myself,. Having been uprooted from one environment to another - initially because of wartime Britain - since the age of six, attending eight different schools (both private, preparatory and grammar) and so having had to cross the great class divide in UK, I was never long influenced by any hard and fast herd mentality. After leaving school, I went through ever more varied and often rapid changes of place, work and interests. Travelling the globe in teenage as a Merchant Navy cadet, then settling abroad and visiting very different countries, I have met so many unique persons from many corners of the world. In those younger days, I used to have almost unlimited time for almost anyone; odd bods, ordinary blokes you run across, not excluding down-and-outs, fools and even some frauds.
After I had I settled down in Norway and eventually became a father, changes became much more of a mental and intellectual nature… though they were also most rapid as I absorbed and went in deeply for the one vision or world-view, one science and philosophy, one ideology after the other, finding out what I could trust and leaving behind what did not satisfy the needs I felt for knowledge and understanding while mostly hanging on to what remained clear and reliable. Countess mundane life experiences - and also a large number of extra-mundane such - gradually dissolved all my vain beliefs that had replaced one another in my searching and gradually expanding mind. Some day, my being and consciousness will disintegrate too. That process continued, somewhat more leisurely, but with some major turnarounds, up until the present (2017).
Fortunately, I learned fairly early on - after having engaged in public debate and expressed my views in various published articles - I realised that much of that is vanity and - where immature or plain wrong - could be an albatross that would follow me in life. I decided to keep a low profile, well out of the public eye, and to pursue what I saw as the right way to live a good life for myself and others without any fanfares. Events eventually virtually forced me to change that as I uncovered (without wishing to) a vast deceptive and very rich and influential world ‘spiritual’ organisation of which I had became an active part and contributed energy and funds for 18 years. I reluctantly took to the Internet as the best way to combat the huge crimes and cover-ups in defence of the weak and vulnerable victims of its fraudulence, protected by my location in Norway from lawsuits and other threats. That exposé work took 17 years of concentrated daily work, until I felt the job was done as far as possible. Fortunately again, the death of the chief figure (Sai Baba) and not least through the work of others and myself, this movement’s driving force was reduced to a mere fraction and did not therefore lead to any consequences for me.
Since I turned 65 I gradually withdrew from most other contacts than family and a few old and constant friends. Now at 78, while time is running out, I have no need of socialising beyond my little circle. I have come to understand a great deal more about the world and its inhabitants and this means that I have had less and less time for most people. I have not lost sympathy for most fellow humans, but I have no longer patience with countless common opinions, interests, beliefs and delusions on which populations mostly hang their own lives.